By the autumn of 1987 the Garbage Pail Kids had been banned in plenty of American schools, and CBS wanted them on Saturday mornings. The network produced the series itself, ordered a full season of thirteen half hours and promoted it ahead of the 1987 to 1988 schedule. Bob Hathcock produced and directed, and Flint Dille developed it and wrote much of it, with a writers’ room that included Linda Woolverton, Marv Wolfman, Buzz Dixon and Paul Dini.
The show it made was stranger than the cards. The regulars were five kids, Patty Putty, Clogged Duane, Split Kit, Elliot Mess and Terri Cloth. In the first two episodes they had ordinary alter egos and changed into their Garbage Pail selves; after that they simply stayed that way. Around the main stories sat fake commercials for things like an Anti-Kissing Creme and a Homework Machine, a joke segment called the Garbage Pail Groaner, and, early on, a fake-facts segment called Would We Lie To You?. Several of the main stories were film parodies: Idaho Spud and the Temple of Trash, Savage Stuart the Barbarian, Kinky Konk, The Fry.
None of that reached American television. Action for Children’s Television, the National Coalition on Television Violence and Christian Leaders for Responsible Television, part of the American Family Association, protested that the show mocked disabled people, glorified violence and was really a half-hour advertisement for the trading cards. Nabisco, McDonald’s and Crayola pulled their advertising, either under pressure or because they could not see the episodes in advance. Several CBS affiliates, including WIBW in Topeka, KOTV in Tulsa, WBNS in Columbus, KHOU in Houston and KREM in Spokane, told the network weeks ahead that they would not carry it.
The Kansas City Star reported the cancellation on September 16, 1987, a few days before the scheduled debut. CBS filled the hole by stretching Muppet Babies to ninety minutes, the same fix it had used for Little Muppet Monsters.
Abroad, the show went out. It aired in the UK from June 7, 1988, and in Spain, Italy, France, Germany, Australia and the Caribbean. American viewers had to wait until April 4, 2006, when Paramount put the whole series on DVD.
The cast is worth a second look now. Patty Putty was voiced by Tara Strong, credited then as Tara Charendoff, and Clogged Duane by Cree Summer, credited as Cree Summer Francks. Every episode, with its running order, writers and guest voices, is in our episode guide.